Thursday, June 4, 2009

Sick and Tired~

Hey! :) 
Sooo, I am having troubles lately. First of all, I am having a difficult time, or at least a tricky enough time, putting full faith in God to let Him work everything out. I am confused about Him, still, mainly. Oh, I study His Word daily, and I understand most of it, but how does a true Christian like me put full trust in Him? I want to so badly, but most Christians know how it is when doubts are constantly there, or get there, at least, if a bad thing occurs. So, please pray for me and my faith. 
First and foremost, however, please pray for my family. I'm not sure the most I can put out on here without them seeing, but let's just say that things aren't feeling well lately. Everybody is too busy, for one thing, and for another, I worry about my parents' marriage, and our family's whole faith in the Lord. These days, it seems or feels that I have more faith than anyone else. That's just too sad, and we have other personal troubles that stay at the back of my mind. Besides that, my birthday is coming up at the end of June, and I fear it may be nonexistent to my family. I'm turning 21. That day is going to mean far more to me than most of you probably realize. It has nothing to do with the fact that from that day on, I can legally drink, not that I want to, I'm not that thrilled about it. In my opinion, the drinking age should be 25. But anyway, turning 21 means that it's going to be another reminder that I'm an adult, that the days of college are closing in on me, that soon I'll be all on my own, and how scary is that? 
I work hard, and I study hard at school. But when it comes to going home at the end of the day--which makes sense lately since I'm working plus taking summer courses, two--something feels giant, like an aching hole inside me that I can't seem to place. Maybe it's just that I feel my years on numbered at finding true love. I try  hard to believe harder daily that God has my man out there somewhere for me. :) I seem to have more faith in that these days with Him than anything else, but I am trying my very hardest, and He knows I am. Most of the time, I guess, it's just hard. 
My hope and prayer is that you might help me figure something out. If not, God bless. Hope conquers everything, besides faith first and foremost, and I will continue to deeply believe that. No matter what happens in our family, and no matter what does or doesn't change. 
Thanks for reading. :) Ta! for now, 

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